I'm just not sure this is the bag for me. It's so sleek and black, looking at me like a piece of sexual chocolate ready to melt all down my neck. That's weird? Well I didn't say anything about the bloody toilet paper that was stuck to your a shoe a moment ago. Yeah, don't think that I didn't see you nonchalantly take it off your foot while simultaneously coughing to cover up the ripping sound. And, by the way, why did you think a cough would disguise such an act? Your were bent over in the tree position, trying to act like you were doing a yoga position that you learned from that really "spiritual" instructor that had on an entire outfit that was recyclable. Oh nothing to say now? Ok. Now I can continue to ponder about this bag...

I mean, IT IS constructed from tough ripstop nylon, and features suede zipper pulls, neon accents, molded buckles, and a hell of a lot of compartments. It seems like a good purchase, since this is the only messenger bag that's under $300. My question is that why do messengers need bags that are so expensive? Not one of those fancy shoulder apparatuses were waterproof, and it looked more like a super snugglie for babies that are overweight at birth by 30 pounds and you can't carry them on your chest or you will automatically go into cardiac arrest. I guess a bag of that magnitude could serve as a personal awning during a rain storm, or a twin bed for mid afternoon naps. The purposes are endless, but I guarantee that there aren't HALF as many pockets in those bastards as in this one. What do I need all those compartments for? Well, I don't know. You know, it's hard to say with what kind of day you may have ahead of you. if there is anything like fishing or engineering involved, then you would obviously have to wear a vest with lots of pockets as well for all the stuff that you need. The bag would just serve as an advent calendar form of storage, without all the goals and countdowns that involve a true advent calendar. And no mini bottles of booze or liqueur flavored candy behind each one of the doors. And there are no doors, just pockets. Now stop it. I'm trying to concentrate on buying this thing. 

You don't think I'm a messenger, and don't know why I'm even considering this purchase? You think I'm full of what? Say that again, friend? Speak up. You're mumbling is beginning to bum me out. 

Well...Mail room messenger and bike messenger are the same thing. No, really they are....

LOOK I JUST WANT THE BAG TO LOOK COOL LIKE PUCK FROM THE REAL WORLD 6, OK????

Hi, yes sir. I'll take that one way up there. Thank you. No I don't need the waterproofer, but thanks. 

I know everyone gets the waterproofer, but I just don't need it, all right? It'll be quite dry where it will be used. 

No, I really am a messenger. Look, just, ugh. JUST LET ME BUY THE BAG.