Dart Coat Hooks
Look Stan, I think that you need to stop drinking that coconut juice and get over here and finish this game of 320 we have going on. I have had enough of your silent wheezing from your nostrils, pretending you're NOT sick from that trip you took down to the amazon river to see if there was really "bodies" of water near it. Really? Have you ever taken a geography class? I mean, the river is a bunch of miles long, with amazon women running around collecting leaves so their families can make more clothes for the community. Seriously, pick up a book for fuck's sake.
Wait, you're done? Why?? What the heck did I come over here for? Your driveway isn't finished, leaving me with rocks in my shoes and semi-dried cement on the bottoms. Yeah, you guessed it pal, these ARE new new balances. Try finding these puppies in your average walking shoe store. NOT HAPPENING. I had to order these fresh from the west coast. I also didn't get offered a frosty beverage when I arrived, my mouth dry as a desert and yearning for even your white cum juice that your so faithfully sipping on. No, no no. It's too late now. I have my orange vanilla cream Shasta soda that your wife gave me because nobody else would drink it. And I was also offered leftovers from Monday from her. Dude, it's Saturday! Your wife is sweet, unlike your selfish ass. But I think she is just trying to pawn off your old ass food so that you don't feel wasteful. And don't think that 20 cents you donate every 6 months to the children of Somalia is doing anything. Donate a real amount, cheap ass jerk.
Oh, I guess I did break that last dart in my last throw. I can't help that I hit the gym 6 days a week, get mistaken for Mark Wahlberg, and have the arm strength of Rocky in that movie Over the Top. Look, it was a simple mistake, and I really want to finish this game. Wait, why don't we use your Dart Coat Hooks where I hung my pea colored pea coat at? They are so shiny, and even though you have them mounted to the wall, we can simply remove them and replace when this game is over! I know, I put my genius on hold often when I hang out with you. It's just that if I don't, then you won't understand anything I am saying. Trust me on this, my low brow imbecile.
See? No clue...
Ok, I am going to remove them from the wall and take my final turn, since I'm going to hit all bull's eye's here anyways. Hey, what are you doing? Don't touch me there? What the...? Seriously?? Keep that dirty probe away from me! I don't care what you named it, just put it down. Slowly, that's it. Now, don't hand it to me. Just set it down. Ok, that's good...
NO! OK OK! I won't take the darts! Just don't stick that brown probe in me anymore!
No, you idiot. I DRIVE a brown probe car! And the story I was telling you was about a guy I rear ended at an intersection! I said that I wish he would've rear ended me so my engine wouldn't have gotten fucked up! You have it all wrong man!
Oh, I have it all wrong. You don't. Ok, this just got awkward for the second time...
